The 30 Year Old Virgin
by Tessela
Summary: Marriage and women was not something on Itachi's mind. That scared not only the elders but his father and brother are worried about his asexual behavior and keeps threatening him with an arrange marriage so the last thing he needed was this annoying loud mouth girl constantly pestering him. AU
1. Sweeter Than Honey

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Chapter 1

**O**

Sweeter than honey

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He stood at the center of the wall of glass, thick light poured through the room, bathing it in luminous rays of sunshine. His eyes watched the city below, carefully watching the people as they come and go out his line of vision. And then he sighed.

"Father," His words, rich and dark like chocolate. The heaviness of them bounced off the glass and echoed through the room like a tone of music. The figure behind him lounged leisurely, the chain of smoke from his cigar floated and curled before vanishing in the air. "What brings you to my office...unannounced." He slowly enunciated the last word angrily. If his father heard it in his voice, he didn't make it clear. Fugaku knew Itachi hated when he would drop by without an appointment or phone call, he also knew his son's tricks and ways to skip out when he _would_ make the effort to tell him, now he chose to come in by to surprise and catch the Uchiha before he could run. Itachi knew nothing good came from his father's visits, and only knew he would be highly irritated after his father pried information about anything in his personal life he wouldn't tell his mother, which is why he skipped out on his father's visits, nothing but a headache came out of it.

Fugaku took a long drag of his cigar, the smoke curling from his nostrils like a dragon as he slowly opened his narrow eyes to glance through the blinding rays of light to watch the unmoving figure in front of the window. Putting out the remaining stub, he rose from his seat and languidly marched his way to stand next to his eldest son, looking opposite of his eyes, he watched the overhead of the city, the planes and blinking lights of up top buildings seemed more interesting than the people below his son scouted intently. "You have always been a blessing to the clan." His father started. Itachi was all but familiar with his father's lectures, this was his introduction sentence; the opening of the Pandora box. Itachi glanced at him from the corner of his eye, and slowly dragged them back to their previous place, downward.

"As so I've been taught to know."

His father seemed dissatisfied with his response. "Sasuke has already courted a young lady from under the consultation of the elders. A date as already been set. They are talking about what to do with you, next. As the heir to the clan, it is a must..." '_So this is what he came for,' _Itachi bitterly thought. The elders has always pushed for Itachi to marry someone under their approval and each time, Itachi has gotten out of it by throwing his self into his work to the point his schedule is day and night and his bedroom is in the next room over. He doesn't leave his office. He doesn't interact outside, he only watched the people as they freely go, having not to be chained down to a life made of cards dealt to you by someone else of the same esteem as you. Calling themselves elders because age and not lords because of spirit. They like to entrain the thought that they are, though.

"I'm too busy," He said his signature line, the line that got him out the courtship with the Uzumaki female, Karin, out the courtship with the Hyuuga heiress-Hinata, the line that got him out a courtship with the Yamanaka heiress-Ino, even out of one with the prime minister of Suna- Subaku no Temari. But he doubted the line will not get him out of this, now.

"The elders has taken that into consideration. They are giving the company and your work to Sasuke and Shisui until you are married and if they are specially upset-until you've had your first born." Fugaku watched from the corner of his eye as his son's face unwavering to his words, only the slightest of his eyes narrowing and the throb of a vein in his neck showed his discomfort in this.

"How many agreed to this?" He said through clenched teeth

"All."

"Ridiculous." He sneered. "They seem to not get the concept that I am not ready to settle down with just anyone. _Especially_ with anyone of their choosing."

"They are open to compromise but only if in the end, they are getting what they want in a time's notice." His father sympathized only a little with Itachi. His son was knee deep in work constantly, knowing little of the motive behind his sudden outrageous work ethic, but knowing it did wonders for their company and for the police force. He felt Sasuke or Shisui for that matter wasn't ready to take on such a precious company that needed the constant care Itachi poured into it night and day. He along with his wife, Mikoto were against the idea of forcing Itachi from his work but his beloved was more concerned with his health than the well being of the company in the hands of his nephew and youngest son.

"What compromise?" He breathed out irritably, the elders rarely made such deals unless blood was on the table or in his case, a wedding ring and he was very skeptical to their proposal.

"They will let you marry a woman of your choice but you have only six months, that includes months without work. This building is not allowed to let you step foot past the lobby. Your mail will be forwarded to the compound and you will live in the main house under your mother's dire wishes." Fugaku watched the throbbing of the vein in Itachi's neck, the stress in his eyes as he closed them momentarily before opening them again to seek comfort in watching people below. "Son..." Fugaku started.

"A man of your caliber should not be troubled by simple things such as vows. You have a whole company and an army of men at your disposal. Stress should be the last factor controlling you. Perhaps you just need the comforts of a woman to help you relieve some of this tension." The way the word rolled off his tongue made Itachi cringe. His father found it amusing Itachi was referred to amongst the elders as asexual. Itachi didn't find men or women attractive, he would blow off super models, turn down dates with actresses and not even subjecting him self to the sweet pleasures of a woman. To toy with him on his 18th birthday, his brother bought him a dominatrix, curious to see if that was Itachi's cup of tea. Itachi had calmly turned her down, apologized for the waste of her time and allowed her keep the money and called it a night. His brother and father on the other hand, took the pleasure to indulge in the taste of the forbidden fruit, leaving their wives at home to gallivant with another woman and come back smelling of fresh soap and no regrets.

Itachi had to scoff. "I don't want to bed a lowly concubine, especially not one my father had bed previously behind the back of my mother." Venom dripped from his words. His father's eyes narrowed warningly, he took a firm step closer to Itachi.

"Boy, you speak freely like again that and I will relieve you of your tongue." His father roared. Silence thickened between them, Itachi was not too quick to break the hush that washed over them. He watched a black Ferrari drive past a red light and someone running for the bus across the street. The two came in close contact by a hair as the Ferrari whipped past the woman who's prime obligation was to chase after a vehicle instead of avoiding being hit by one, for a moment, he left like the woman; running for a bus he could never catch.

"Now..." His father seemed to find his composure, straightening his jacket and tie, his eyes cut to Itachi. "You haven't even lain with a woman and yet you judge my actions?" His father scoffed as if what his son thought of him was absurd. "I will let your words slide...Only because you do not know the pleasures of a real woman." His father smiled nostalgically. "It is sweeter than honey."

Itachi felt a little ill inside.

"Be it as it may, you will be happy to know I have prior engagements to attend to." Fugaku turned his wrist to glance at his Rolex before straightening up again with his hand behind his back, general style.

Fugaku turned sharply on his heel, he arrogantly strode towards the door of the expansive office, the light of the room seeming to make it appear he'd been cornered without an escape when Itachi felt the exact same way. "Ah, I almost forgot to mention." He finally broke the silence. With his hand was on the knob and the other behind his back, Itachi couldn't help but know his father never forgets anything, so he must have intentionally left this out.

"You have an appointment at the hospital in an hour. Lady Tsunade insists on checking your erratic breathing patterns."

"You understand that I have someone who informs me about things of that nature." Irritation washed over the eldest Uchiha, is that what his father intentionally left out? What was the point? He didn't ask his reasoning for uselessly reminding him something he would've found out eventually from his assistant.

He watched his father close the door behind him, listening for the sound of the click.

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_Thanks for reading!__, _

_If I play my cards right, all the chapters will be posted up at a timely fashion of once a week (if I'm not lazy or too indulged in my other two Sakura x Itachi fics)_

_My chapters aren't this short but I cut this chapter in half to have fun with the second one, so yea..._

_Keep your fingers crossed!_

**Beta Wanted**

_Thanks for reading!_

_R&R and tell me what you think._

_-Tess_


	2. Kids, Tobacco and Nicotine is bad!

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Chapter 2

**O**

Kids, Tobacco and Nicotine is bad for you! mm'kay?

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Sakura stood on the balls of her toes and stared carefully at her reflection. Her fingers worked diligently in her hair, tying a large lock of pink hair around a cylinder curling iron, snapping it close. Her fingers squeezed the lever and smoke rose from the iron. Her left hand grabbed her mascara wand and stroked her lashes multiple times. She ignored the dripping toothpaste oozing from the sides of her mouth and into the bowl of the sink, just grateful it didn't fall on her crisp red blouse.

"_SHIT!_" She hissed. Some toothpaste dribbled down her chin. She had clumped her lashes together from excessive coats of mascara. Sakura reached for her clean mascara declump wand and raked it through her lashes. She sat down her brush and continued to brush her teeth quick and forcefully, causing her gums to bleed then she quickly spat into the sink and ran some water in her mouth until it was clear when she spat it out again.

Checking the time, Sakura darted out the bathroom like a bullet, almost diving over the couch for her heels. In a fit, she strapped the uncomfortable shoes on, careful not to scratch off the gems on her freshly painted blue toenails. She clacked all the way to her coat-rack, and yanked her lab coat from it's extended wooden limbs. In whirl of white, she stretched her arms through her lab coat, gave one last thorough glance in the mirror next to her key rack, patting her delicate pink wide-barrel curls in her hair and straightened her perfect symmetrical Chinese bangs and model-style-walked her way out the door. Walking down the street, she was greeted with her usual perverts and their whistles and the dirty glares she was given by every other woman who dared to brush shoulders with the medic. She glanced at her watch.

Technically, Sakura wouldn't say she was late per-say but Tsunade firmly told her to be on time to work an hour earlier than necessary. But being late wasn't something new to the pinkette. She didn't like to commute to work by car, she preferred walking. Especially on warm days like so, did she enjoy a relaxing walk to work before she's crammed in a stuffy room filled with patients and rude people. Don't get her wrong, she _adored_ her job as head nurse and knew it from the time Lady Tsunade took her under her wing, that this was her passion and helping people was something she took pride in but sometimes it can be exhausting and have it downsides.

Today in particular, Tsunade had called her in early to prep for her new patient. From the small briefing she was told over coffee with, her new patient was not only a hunk in shining armor, but he was a pompous ass too which is why Tsunade was quick to give her a formal letter in the mail about keeping a calm temper and high patience. The man suffered from a common disorder found a lot amongst children; Asthma. Most of the time, children would grow out of it, but it seemed to follow her patient to his adulthood and instead of being more controlled, his attacks has become more frequent and out of control to the point, he could have one anytime, even in his sleep.

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"You're late." Tsunade glared at her student from across the room. Sakura smiled meekly, unfazed by the aura radiating off of her Shishou.

"Well, excuse me for stopping to _smell the roses_." Sakura rolled her eyes. Even though she had a heavy work schedule and was rarely outside the hospital, she _did_ indeed have a normal life outside of these walls and she had friends like Naruto who doesn't work in the Medical profession like she does. She even had her small fair shares of men calling her up for a piece of ass,(which she turned down every single one of them) and if that didn't justify her having a life, then she would like to see her shishou's definition of the term.

Inner Sakura slapped her hands on her hips in disbelief towards her Shishou. Tsunade-sama of all people should be understanding, considering her _late night calls _she answered to Jiraiya. Even the Godame Hokage has a life(shockingly) and _does_ answer to one man's booty calls in- of all places- her office.

Tsunade thinks no one knows of her late night sexcapes with Jiraiya in her office.

_'Oh, Everyone knows.' _Inner answered her thoughts with a rueful smile, shaking her head.

Tsuande was still not amused.

Sakura knew she had Tsunade where it hurts at the moment but it never deter red the Hokage; there's always _after_ the patient.

**.\\.**

Itachi sighed, the urge to smoke a cigarette burned hard in his throat as he could taste the faint tobacco and nicotine from his last cigarette still lingering in his mouth. He had to have one, his father's visit had tossed more unwanted stress on his shoulders. He was ready to leave, go back to his work and throw his self even harder into a project not even the elders could un-glue him from. This was an utter waste of his time, what possibly does that top heavy woman want with his asthma problem? It was normal like everyone else who has asthma: he couldn't do some sports, he couldn't overly exert himself and definitely couldn't smoke.

That last one, he admits, varies from time-to-time.

His eyes dart towards the door as he watched a girl saunter into the room, almost instantly he disliked her. She was already grating his nerves with her happy disposition despite all she did was walk thought the door, who could be that happy over probably nothing? Sakura plopped into a rolling chair, flashing a smile towards Itachi's way, he did not return the gesture however, blowing her off. Her makeup was elaborate and precise but regardless, her face distinctively reminded him of a cake.

Tsunade came trailing in and unlike Sakura, Tsunade didn't seem happy about life. The top heavy woman came to Sakura's side and yanked the woman harshly out the seat, mumbling something along the lines of 'get your bony ass up' as she did so, the pinkette shot her a dirty look while her mentor cross her legs warningly and gestured to her patient.

"Good morning Hokage-sama." Itachi greeted, shifting his eyes to the other woman and her loathsome pink hair.. "And whoever you are." Sakura ignored his rude comment and picked up a clipboard from the nearby table, sweeping her eyes over it, she bit her lip in thought, instinctively twirling a piece of pink hair in her fingers.

"Uchiha-san, this is myhead doctor, Sakura Haruno-sensei. She'll be your new permanent doctor. I have informed your father about my plans with your condition. I assume he passed this information onto you?" Tsunade smiled, lounging back into the chair, comfortably she watched the blank face of the Uchiha as he lazily dragged his eyes over to the pink hair girl again, assessing her from head to toe, average face, average body, perhaps average personality? Not his cup of tea. He turned his eyes back to the Hokage disbelievingly.

"Are you sure there isn't anyone, else?"He said. The blond woman to erupted in laughter.

"I see. Well, I understand your pain, Uchiha-san, she can sometimes appear not the brightest crayon in the crayola box." They both turn back to Sakura, watching her as she peered hard at his medical chart, her fingers absentmindedly twisted a strand of her hair and the other hand held the chart mere inches from her squinting eyes. Anyone, besides Tsunade would think she's some bimbo filled with hot air the way she scanned his charts in awe, but to Tsunade, she could clearly see the fascination on Sakura's face. "But I assure you, Sakura is best at what she knows." Partially why she chose her for this task was because Sakura wasn't use to this kind of work, normal asthma could easily be cured with an air pump but Itachi's condition required something more than that. She had complete faith in Sakura, knowing her as an eager girl with a thirst for knowledge.

That and Sakura has no-life and she insistently barging in on her own life. The girl needs to get out more.

"I was just informed that I had an appointment." Itachi knew his father withheld some information from him. However, he disliked the idea of putting his medical condition-or any serious illness of it- in the hands of this _ditzy idiot_. He wouldn't trust her to chew gum and walk at the same time, let alone cure any of his diseases. Itachi could see the visible disapproval and slight sympathy coloring across Tsunade's face, something more was stamped with this pink package he was getting.

"So he didn't tell you, your arrangements?" She carefully enunciated each word. He shook his head, Tsunade quirked an interested eyebrow, a sly smile breaking across her face. "Well, the arrangements were for Haruno-sensei to live with you as a personal nurse, to checkup on your condition and to constantly monitor it." Tsunade could see the visible discomfort straining on the Uchiha's face as he twitched it in annoyance. Tsunade chuckled.

"It was your father's suggestion, Uchiha-san." Tsunade shrugged and Itachi nearly dropped his poker face in shock. _OF COURSE! _His father was behind this all along. No wonder he left so abruptly after their conversation, he wanted to get things _nice and ready_ for Itachi, either that or the coward didn't want to face Itachi when he found out the news. Either way, Fugaku will not get away with this, he'll play his father at his own disgusting game.

Sakura wasn't so delicate with the news; she was flabbergasted.

"What!?" Sakura's head snapped from the chart, like Itachi, she wasn't aware of this under the table agreement either. "Lady Tsunade, may I have a word with you?" Sakura gestured towards the door, Tsunade sighed for the umpteenth time, her apprentice could be one of the smartest and well educated woman in Konoha when she wasn't too busy being a thorn in Tsunade's perfect ass.

"No, you two are as of this moment are technically living with each other, so there is no secrets between us now. So whatever you need to say, get it out in the open, here." Tsunade gestured with her arms open wide to the open space around them that she wanted Sakura to 'let it out' in. Itachi's eyes narrowed as the pinkette's face turned red before she released air from her nostrils.

"It's nothing important except for the fact, this morning I lived in _my_ own home with _my_ own mortgage and now I'm going have to drop all that to live with a total stranger? That's rude that you didn't even tell me about this _other_ piece of information when you told me about this patient. Is my safety not a priority?" Sakura rested her hand on her hip that she poked out. For a moment Itachi thought she had a brain amongst all that hot air.

"That is under control. Shizune has offered to house sit for you and as Hokage-" Sakura hated how she position drop like that "- I get the last say in what the bank does with your home. And as for your _safety_ precautions, Itachi's family is majority Konoha police. Unlike his brother, Sasuke, Itachi owns a large corporation that is a major life line for Konoha's economy. So, you're in safe hands." Sakura gawked, unable to say anything to protest this living arrangement. She hated the spot she's been force into but all her loop holes has been patched.

"Hokage-sama, I must object this decision. I don't find this living arrangement necessary. Isn't it simpler to just have my checkups here instead of going through the trouble of living together?" Itachi didn't quite sit well with the idea of _her _in his home. For all he knew from the brief time they're together that she cannot be trusted with a scalpel or even house hold appliances, why should he go through the trouble to constantly watch her when she would probably kill herself walking with scissors turned downwardly.

"No. I find this living arrangement a great idea and besides, your condition is beginning to worsen and we need someone there in case you were to have an attack in your sleep, then we will have someone nearby to assist you." Tsunade's mind was clearly made up, but he continued to pry for more options.

"Then can you give me someone _else_. Perhaps Shizune?" Tsunade scoffed, offended he would even suggest her hand-dog. Shizune never left her side.

"Is my ears deceiving me or is the great Uchihas settling for less? Sakura is top of her game, even surpassing Shizune." Tsunade raised an arched eyebrow, the classiness but deviousness of the way it was waxed suited Tsunade well. Itachi seemed displeased with her assumption, his frown deepened.

"Am I invisible? You seem like your not going to be easy to live with either." Sakura muttered. She leaned against the desk, her arms crossed and anger settling in her fierce expression. She didn't like the way Itachi picked over her like food. She knew a million more patients she could be operating on with even dreadful illnesses, way worse than some asthma. What was going through her mentor's thick skull when she decided to give her time to this ungrateful Uchiha, distinctly different from his brother in appearance, but they were right up there with their ass-holerly.

"So, what's your answer, Uchiha-san?" Asked Tsunade. She and Itachi ignoring Sakura's comment altogether.

"Fine." Uttered Itachi, he knew no way around Tsunade's decision, only through it. He imagined living with her couldn't be that hard since probably watching her trip over a flat surface would be more interesting to watch with his new-found time. This took Sakura off guard, she half expected the Uchiha to continue to weasel his way out of this. But he took this like the bigger person and agreed. It left her feeling a little childish to deny help for a patient. Tsunade's eyes dart to her apprentice for her final say.

"I agree," Sakura moved to be next to her mentor. Tsunade pleased with this decision now in motion, clapped her hand together in delight.

"Perfect. Now, since that's over, time for the real stuff. Don't think you came all the way down here just for that. It's time for your examination." Sakura handed Tsunade his chart. As she peered over his records, she clicked her tongue thoughtfully. "Okay, this examination will be conducted by Haruno-sensei, have fun." Tsunade stood up to give Sakura and Itachi alone time, her heels clacked sharply against the floor as she left them alone right away a thick silence swelled between the two.

Itachi sat with his arms crossed, watching as the medic stared back at him. It annoyed him instantly how she just stood there as if she was just some object meant to decorate the room. "Well, unless you can bionically hear my breathing pattern, I doubt standing there is doing either of us a favor."

_'Smart ass' _She bitterly thought, snapping back to her work. She took out her stethoscope and pressed the bell against his chest. Sakura could expect many things to come from this living arrangement, sex will not be one of them. She wouldn't dare let this _creep_ touch her, Uchiha business tycoon or not. She listened to the steady beat of his heart and silent but choppy _whooshes _of air he made every other second. That was definitely not normal. Sakura took the plugs out her ears and reached for his chart, jotting down notes.

"So?" Itachi asked, drumming his fingers impatiently on the edge of the seat. A glass of Brandy and a Cuban cigar was calling his name, after hearing these news he probably will need quite a few bottles to truly accept his predicament. He wondered how his mother was going to react to this, since she requested Itachi to move back home during his _objective._ Mikoto would, absolutely no doubt, have a cow over the thought of a woman playing nurse to her son in her home. "Hurry and reiterate to me what I already know, I have places to be."

"I have a few questions." Sakura spat back, rolling her eyes. She has dealt with rude patients before but Itachi was downright disrespectful. "Don't be quick to assume what you don't know, you might hurt your ego." Itachi scowled. Sakura hid her triumphant smirk behind her paperwork. Score one for pink.

"So, are you sleeping well, getting full eight hours of sleep?" Sakura's tone had shifted into full medic mode. Itachi sighed, feeling said sleep creeping up his spine at that very moment. He never gets any sleep. Probably about two hours max, sometimes less than thirty minutes. Itachi shook his head, seeing the pinkette shake her head disapprovingly, writing more notes.

"Are you eating right, at least three time a day, two snacks in between?"

Itachi shook his head again, not even bothering to lie about his unhealthy appetite. His meal portions were very slim and majority of the time, he opted for plain rice for breakfast and shrimp fried for lunch and chicken fried for dinner.

"How many cups of water do you drink?" Sakura eyed him questionably, what type of human could he be? Itachi pondered her question for a second. He mostly drank energy drinks and coffee, if he was in a good mood, the closest thing to H2O he would have was tea. Itachi simply shrugged. Sakura breathed a string of profanities underneath her breath, scribbling more note, furiously.

"Do you exercise?"

"Yes," He answered. Finally, something good, she nodded her head. Maybe there was hope for him after all.

"What do you exercise?"

"My authority..."

Sakura was close to losing it. She did not realize how angry she was beginning to get until the pencil in her hand snapped in two, the eraser end bounced off her cheek and dropped to the floor. He was insufferable! A grade 'A' smart ass. Sakura pursed her lips to a hard line and spoke through gritted teeth.

_'She did walk into it'. _He thought with bitter humor. He could see the annoyance in her face as she strained to keep it professional but failing miserably. A vein throbbed underneath her eye and frankly it was quite unflattering to her already unflattering cake face. He inwardly chuckled before checking the time on his Platinum Rolex then he sighed. She was dragging this on longer than needed. He will toy with her a little bit more before he leaves.

"How many hours do you work?" He could answer this one easily, he should know how long he keeps himself pent up in his office and to his work. Her questions were starting to annoy him, nothing pertaining to his ultimate health issue-asthma.

"I work 23 hours a day, 7 days a week. I don't engage in _coffee breaks_ or any of that absurd time wasting activities. I sleep a certain time before our companies' stocks opens." Sakura nearly lost her composure. Not even a world renowned doctor works that many hours! After scribbling more than she anticipated about her patient, Sakura excused herself with a small smile. She stormed back in her office, throwing the door back until the knob thumped the wall. The abrupt noise caught Tsunade off guard, having been on her cell phone, she darted her eyes to the cause of the noise, murmuring something into the phone.

"HE CAN'T BE HUMAN!" Sakura barged in saying. "His body...no wonder he has problems! His body must be ready to break down, it's medically impossible that it hasn't already!

"I imagine it must be holding on to a shred of life." Sakura shook her head. She could guess why he's so grouchy. His whole body must be screaming mercy for him to rest. Sitting in that chair must be wonderful for that poor man right about now. Sadly, Tsunade didn't share Sakura's horror.

Tsunade whispered a sultry goodbye to the person on the other line and tucked her phone away, a smile playing on her burgundy lips. "Do you believe in knocking, Sakura? 'Cause if not, I will happily throw your ass out your own office." Sakura ignored her mentors halfhearted question/threat, she began pacing the floor. "Well Sakura, Mikoto has grown too worried about her eldest son's health and I suspect it's more than just asthma that's supporting whatever is wrong with him. It's probably depression or stress."

"It's your job to help him conquer the foul demon he has over his head."

Sakura stared at her chart in thought, avoiding her mentor's teasing eyes, did she think this was a joke? Who thought she would be capable of something a psychiatric ward could easily fix. "He thinks I'm an idiot."

"Maybe you are." Sakura glared at her long time friend and mentor, anger settling in her eyes. Traitor. Before Tsunade could apologize (or not) Sakura slammed the door behind her, walking back into the room with Itachi.

Itachi had been putting on his jacket. A cellphone to his ear, he murmured something to the person on the other line. Sakura cleared her throat, announcing her presence despite he still didn't glance to look at her immediately. "Your examination isn't done."

"I'm afraid it is, I have prior engagements to attend to." Itachi brushed pass Sakura's pixie frame, moving for the door, it opened before he could touch the knob. Tsunade entered the room with a wind of arrogance blowing with her. She blocked the exit and gestured to the tiny woman he left near the examination chair.

"Aren't you forgetting your baggage?" Sakura shot a glare that wasn't as menacing as the one twisted on Itachi's handsome face. After what seemed like a long stare off, Itachi glanced back at Sakura, defeated.

"Sakura Haruno, is it?" Asked Itachi, as if letting the taste of it settle on his taste buds before making a face. Perhaps too sugary. "I am sure my mother and father is expecting your appearance tonight and I am sure you have packing to do so hurry and get your things because I have business to take care of and you are not going to be a hindrance to me." His voice, stern. It left little room for objection. After a few low grumbles from Sakura and Itachi, they huffed out the door, leaving Tsunade to her self. She sighed heavily. Her phone buzzed the chorus from Still Into You by Paramore. She mentally cursed Sakura for changing her ring-tone to this young people's music. She was too old to have a teenage crush.

"_Hello?_" Her voice was low and sensual, knowing good and well the person on the other line. "Now, where were we?" Tsunade plopped down in the rolling chair, hearing a deep quilted voice on the other line as it chuckled heartily in her ear.

Somehow she knew Sakura was onto something when she changed her ring-tone _specifically _for a certain person.

"Jiraya, please, tell me more about this _wondrous_ sake you've stumble upon."

**.\\.**

_I felt this wasn't my best chapter,_

_After long mulling over chapter two, I can say it's done! _

_I suck at humor, I guess even though I have great humor_

_Just about anything makes me laugh._

**Beta Wanted**

_Thanks for reading!_

_R&R and tell me what you think._

_-Tess_


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